"IS THIS LOVE?"

(Play the video posted at the end of this piece

 to complete this message)

Trawling through my music collection,

searching for new melodies to add

to my now recovered selection

Playing song after song... until the inevitable happens.

Feebly fighting the urge to stray down an avenue

that I know will cause me great distress.

Despite my efforts to avoid this moment

I find myself playing music

that gravitates towards a particular time.

That time...

A young and unsuspecting heart and mind living blissfully unaware of this thing that adults and love songs referred to as heartache, disappointment and bitterness

Only now do I fully comprehend the message the elders and the radio were relentlessly attempting to send to us.

Still, my fingers warily... hesitantly... linger over the combination of letters on my QWERTY board

that have the power to catapult me back to that time.

I'm painfully aware of the bittersweet nostalgia that such things will stir up.

The painful association and potent memories

of decisions made that will always lead me to question...

If they were indeed worth it.

Yet still... I want to risk my state of heart and press play.

I want to hear it.

As the drums begin, my heart jumps into my mouth

I attempt to swallow it in a dire attempt to return it to its original place,

but the slow and steady pace of the song slowly but surely

conjures up a cocktail of emotions

that results in a hurricane brewing in my gut.

Unable to contain my burgeoning heart, it settles in my throat.

Lip trembles, eyes begin to mist over...

Its. Over.

I've lost the battle of self-restraint.

Remembering your strained and almost comical tones, attempting to serenade my senses

with the sentiments of this lovers promise...

Your knowledge of the song - its lyrics and meaning left me utterly astonished.

Was this planned? Had this been practised?

"Shutup, Caroline, this moment cannot be interrupted!"

Tentively encasing my hands in yours,

your intense and powerful gaze was clear in the message that you wanted to convey.

Through this act you successfully managed to communicate your fearful yet sweet surrender unto me.

Overwhelmed, I briefly looked away.

You went right through me

And I was left thinking;

How can someone just go through you,

then turn back, get under your skin &carry you to places previously unimaginable?

Such a feeling was unfathomable in my brain...

but to my heart (and movie scripts since the dawn of time... well... the dawn of script writing),

undeniably possible.

Sincerity seemingly leaking from every possible part of your being

I didn't dare contemplate if there was another situation I would ever want to be in...

A place without your scent... Your sincere intent, your protective embrace

Your lovers' lament.

Did you understand what you were saying?

That despite your uncertainty of what it was we were embarking on,

you were still willing to share your world, your life, your everything with me

Even if it meant sharing very little?

All this, I dare not mention.

You made it undoubtedly clear with your simple delivery of

an open, raw and honest confession of your intentions:

"I wanna love ya

and treat you right

I wanna love ya

every day and every night

We'll be together

with the roof right over our heads

We'll share the shelter

of my single bed

We'll share the same room

Jah provide the bread.....

Is this love that I'm feeling?"