HELP ME

You know those boring courses that your employers send you on...

You know.... the courses that, according to senior management, are "compulsory for professional development".... you know the ones... Stuffy room. Check.

 Any opportunity for a speedy exit blocked by rows of seats. Check.

BORING MONOTONOUS DELIVERY. BIG FAT CHECK!!! *siiiigh*

This is surely unhealthy.

Someone... RESCUE ME!

Take me to safety.

I'm sure that you're lovely in the outside world,

we could probably even go for a coffee.

But within the confines of this

stone-cold prison of deception

You are BORING ME!

Can't you see me?

Eyes getting droopy.

Do something, anything

STIMULATE me

because I can't bear the embarrassment

of my boredom defeating me

RELEASE ME!

This has to be a crime, SURELY!

I appreciate your expertise

but insert more inflection in your tone, PLEASE!

Unless this ordeal involves actual interaction

and/or physical action, SPARE ME!

How much do you get paid to deliver such workshops?

Is there not a compulsory body

that monitors your method of delivery?

Evidently NOT

because the government cuts

woulda made sure your arse was chopped!

I'm about to lose the plot

as I edge ever closer to The Land Of Nod

THIS. HAS GOT. TO STOP!

The bombardment of jargon, acronyms and strategies

Do you really believe that I am actually absorbing these??

Bite sized chunks will allow me

to chew and digest

But information overload

may just push me over the edge

I'm ready to stand on that ledge

and plunge to mental safety.

Somebody, SAVE ME!